About the Day · Thoughts/Ideas/Plans

Welcome To My Life

Entry Seven
Theme Song: Welcome To My Life – Simple Plan
Mood: Stressed out but doing alright.
Weather: Overcast, rainy. 
Current Read: TBD, but it will be one of three library books.
Side Note: I have some cake/truffle thingy from the bakery. I can’t wait to eat them.

Dear Pages,

I cannot express how crazy the last 24 hours have been for me. It’s a weekly tradition for me to go hang out at my father’s house for dinner and bonding time. Unless they are off on vacation or some such thing is going on. (Duh.) It started off just fine, people in the pool, us talking about things, laughing it up and so on.

Sometimes we talk about serious issues, politics, family situations going on, family drama that we try to dissect to find the root of the problem. Nothing ever gets all that crazy but apparently it just had to be different. My little brother has been going through a tough time lately and for years has exhibited some form of depressive behavior. Apparently he was on medication for a time, but is no longer on it. As he is also an adult it’s not like you can force any down his throat. Personal issues have cropped up for him to start saying some very dark and worry some things.

Everything came to a head when a message was circulated with very sinister and harmful thoughts that were apparently expressed by him. Which had us running around in a bit of a panic trying to locate him. We did find him before he darted off again, sending us into another tizzy. At this point tempers were at an all time high, while I wrangled my mini me’s into just doing a calm and quiet activity to help keep everything from really exploding.

After this point at some unknown time my brother came home appearing “fine” however not too long after I had conversations with random people he knew, he holed up in the bathroom. Which at the time I found very rude cause I had to use the toilet so bad. I swear my eyeballs were positively swimming. A while later he had come out with very clear self harm marks up and down his arm. I wasn’t happy since my mini me’s could see it if they paid attention, but thankfully they did not. I did however. Which upset me a great deal but I had to poker face that.

Before leaving for the night I had to share the information that no one else had observed other than myself. I knew (I know still) he needs help. But somehow hasn’t been able to reach out and take it like I had. Granted I have a drastically more mild version of depression. I just hope and pray he gets the help he needs. As far as I know my parents are trying to work on getting him help. I have asked the both of them to keep me posted.

I feel terrible for him, I know what it’s like to be trapped in your own head. It’s simply awful and you end up hating yourself and fearing yourself at the same time. Completely dreadful stuff.

Bleh.

But enough about that. I need something happy to talk about.

I will be getting my project supplies in a few weeks. Though, by “get” I mean “place order”. There are no actual stores around where I live that have the things I need so I must order them off the internet. Which means a lot of shipping fees. (  (;¬_¬) Shoot me.)

I can’t wait to get a finished item and show. Maybe. ٩(๑❛ワ❛๑)و

Anyway I may post another entry tonight. Will have to see.

Bis Spater!

-Shadow

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